Ken Okazaki Blogging is serious business

17Nov/101

Love Your Family, Choose Your Peers Pt.2

I've received plenty of mail from my readers expressing opinions regarding my previous post titled: Love Your Family, Choose Your Peers, and I feel that it's all valid and we all have our own ways of dealing with opposition in our lives.

A lot of the responses centered around the issue that it's just not right to choose your friends, or peer group according to what suits you best, so after some thinking I wanted to offer this simple analogy:

Let's say you and your friends all somehow fall into a mud pit and you are stuck and can't get out, and after some time you all start to feel pretty comfortable there because you are getting used to it. In this situation if you are going to make progress you will have to break from your present peer group and and find others who are not in your situation to give you an outside perspective that can actually help you to get out from where you are.

Once you make the break, and get the progress that you need in your life, you can come back to your friends who are still stuck, but this time from a higher point, a place where you can help them from, and then elevate them to your level.

So I offer this simple advice: If you are not surrounded by friends with whom you are experiencing growth, and now feel fulfilled, or can see yourself becoming absolutely fulfilled, then the best thing you can do for them is to leave them.

This may sound cruel or self-centered but after you make the progress that you need to make you'll be in the position to help them, and then bring them up to your new level.

This has been repeated time and again in the Bible and throughout history from Moses and Joseph to Peter the Great of Russia.

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  1. Ps. as I was flying back to Japan from NYC the other day I heard the familiar safety instructions by the stewardess. As she explained about the oxygen masks, the instructions were very clear: to secure your own mask FIRST, and THEN help those around you.
    There is a very good reason for this, as you cannot help those around you very well if you are not in a more secure or stable situation yourself.


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