Ken Okazaki Blogging is serious business


Death in the Family

Many of us have had it. Grandparents, parents, brothers, or distant relatives you may have never met before.

Today I got a call telling me that my Grandfather won't make it through the day. My reaction? I don't know. I really don't know. I am sad, but not emotional. I'm a bit shaky and I don't know why. I don't feel extreme sorrow, but I feel I might miss him.

I don't know if I want him to have a quick and painless passing away or for him to live longer.
He's been battling cancer for a few years now and I feel like he's suffered enough but to wish for someone to die sends guilt pangs down to my stomach.
For some reason the question keeps popping up in my head "What should I be feeling right now?" As if there is a right answer.

I know there isn't, but the question won't go away.

I wasn't very close to him, but I do love him. I called my three sisters and brother to break the news to them this morning and they're going to try to make it to the hospital before he passes. My younger sister broke out in tears upon hearing the news. I feel bad for being insensitive and stating the facts too plainly.
I'm sorry June!

I'm headed there right now not knowing what to expect upon arriving, but I know I must go. Is it obligation or love? I'd like to say love but I know deep inside that he probably won't be conscious enough to realize whether I'm there or not, if I even make it in time. Is there a reason for me to go at all? Yes, to show solidarity to my family in this time of sorrow.

Us Okazaki's are proud of our family, and he's the one who gave us the name. Our own personal brand: OKAZAKI.

Gramps, please wait till I get there. please.

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