Ken Okazaki Blogging is serious business

17Nov/101

Love Your Family, Choose Your Peers Pt.2

I've received plenty of mail from my readers expressing opinions regarding my previous post titled: Love Your Family, Choose Your Peers, and I feel that it's all valid and we all have our own ways of dealing with opposition in our lives.

A lot of the responses centered around the issue that it's just not right to choose your friends, or peer group according to what suits you best, so after some thinking I wanted to offer this simple analogy:

Let's say you and your friends all somehow fall into a mud pit and you are stuck and can't get out, and after some time you all start to feel pretty comfortable there because you are getting used to it. In this situation if you are going to make progress you will have to break from your present peer group and and find others who are not in your situation to give you an outside perspective that can actually help you to get out from where you are.

Once you make the break, and get the progress that you need in your life, you can come back to your friends who are still stuck, but this time from a higher point, a place where you can help them from, and then elevate them to your level.

So I offer this simple advice: If you are not surrounded by friends with whom you are experiencing growth, and now feel fulfilled, or can see yourself becoming absolutely fulfilled, then the best thing you can do for them is to leave them.

This may sound cruel or self-centered but after you make the progress that you need to make you'll be in the position to help them, and then bring them up to your new level.

This has been repeated time and again in the Bible and throughout history from Moses and Joseph to Peter the Great of Russia.

28Sep/107

Love Your Family, Choose Your Peers

It's a dilemma many of us face at some point in our lives: we want to grow and progress in a certain area but the people we hang out with just aren't into it, or sometimes are downright against it.
You know what I'm talking about: the new exercise routine, the healthy food diet, or the new direction you're taking in your lifestyle altogether.

You know that if you are going to make the kind of progress that you want, you're going to have to shed the things that hold you back, but your friends and family aren't something that you can just trade like baseball cards.
There's no easy solution when it comes to friends who you love but are holding you back, but you have to make some decisions.
The way I see it is as the title says: Love your family, choose your peers.
Your family are the people that God put you with, so love and respect them always--same with your friends.
But here is where you must make a distinction:

Your Peer Group

These are the people who you respect and want to be like, and who you want to spend as much time with as possible. When forming your peer group, which may take some time, strive to be the dumbest one in it. This is not to mean that you should try to be stupid, but that you surround yourself with people who are more skilled or smarter than you in some way.
Many studies have proven that whether we like it or not, we will become like the people we spend the most time with.

Choose carefully.